by Prue Henschke | Jan 29, 2019 | Two minutes with interview series
When was the last time you had “me-time” and how did you spend that time?
I guess in the traditional sense of “me-time’ I haven’t had any for a long time (especially coming to the end of 6 weeks school holidays with 3 kids at home!) So I have had to sneak just small amounts of time here and there over the last few months. Whether it be a late night Netflix binge, a quick trip to the shops child free, stopping for a coffee on the way home from somewhere… just little simple pleasures.
What are some of your favourite ways to practice self care?
For me self care is made up of a lot of different things throughout the day that bring me joy. I like to look after my skin so when I hop out the shower I start the day by caring for my skin with my favourite products. I absolutely love cooking and baking so being in the kitchen preparing a meal makes me feel happy and relaxed. I love my work so spending some time on the computer replying to emails, planning my content etc… it sparks excitement in me, I don’t feel as though it’s “work” as such.
I also love helping others, I volunteer with a local group helping with their admin, writing grant proposals etc for them… being selfless and seeing how much just offering a few hours of my time can make a difference in the lives of others definitely brings me joy.
What advice would you give to mamas struggling to create “me-time”? How do you make time in your schedule for yourself?
Honestly, I think as mothers we need to succumb to the fact that “me-time” is going to be very minimal when our children are young. It’s just a fact of life. Someone always needs you or something always needs doing. Once you accept this and stop dreaming about day trips to a spa or long weekends away with friends (which of course I hope to do one day!) it becomes a lot easier to appreciate the smaller things as “me-time” and find peace and contentment that way.
~ Stopping for a coffee at a cafe instead of going straight home to housework after school drop off - me time.
~ Doing a gym/dance class for an hour once my husband gets home from work - me time.
~ Going for a walk around the block to have a night off from the bath/book/bed routine - me time.
~ Watching my favourite TV show while sipping on a hot chocolate - me time.
~ Running a hot bath then hopping into bed with fresh sheets, a cup of tea and a good book - me time.
Of course it makes it easier that I can sneak out when my husband gets home and I understand a lot of women don’t have this luxury but I also am never shy of asking people for help when I’m feeling overwhelmed, especially if my husband is away or working long hours. If a school mum offers to pick one of my kids up and have an after school play date - I say yes! If my parents offer to sit at my house for an hour while I nip to the shops child free - I say yes!
My gym has a great creche that I can pop the kids into, my local community centre offers occasional care, my church runs a fantastic kids program - there is lots of ways of still being able to do what you want to do with kids in tow. Do some research about facilities that suit you and your family.
by Prue Henschke | Jan 24, 2019 | Two minutes with interview series
When was the last time you had “me-time” and how did you spend that time?
Three weeks ago I went to get a full body massage for 1 ½ hour, which to me is pure love. Afterwards, I always feel rooted, relaxed and full of gratitude. I need me-times to fill me up once in a while, otherwise, I very easily am spun into practicalities and demands that consume my energy and don’t do me any good. Me-time helps me reload and connect with my inner world and my heart again - and a massage sometimes helps with that.
What are some of your favourite ways to practice self care?
I have some daily routines that I value a lot. I walk with my dog twice a day in the forest or at the lake nearby. Especially when something bothers me, I take in the beauty of nature and I know that I will feel good again. Our great nature helps me to find peace within. I drink a big kop of green tea just after the walk with my dog, and that’s also a special me-time moment. Three times a week, I go to my Bikram yoga class – I have done that for one year now and it is definitely one of the most valuable and mindful things, I have ever done to take care of myself. My body, my spirit and my mind are nurtured and I value that to the greatest extent.
What advice would you give to mamas struggling to create “me-time”? How do you make time in your schedule for yourself?
I haven’t always been good at it myself. Especially when my children were small, I was more aware of being present to them and meeting their needs than caring about myself. I sometimes felt discouraged if I completely ignored to take care of myself, and so I took a choice. I decided to be aware of creating daily routines that should be my “me-time”. I am still aware of my children, of course, but what I did then was to go for a run when there was some space in the program. It became my little Iben room, where nobody expected anything from me, besides myself. Even a nice cup of good hot tea or some deep breathing, meant a little self care to me, and so it grew from there.
My advice to other mamas would therefore be: Start with realistic baby steps – like something that only require 5-15 minutes. Figure out, what makes you feel good, and put it in your schedule equally with cooking or bedtime reading for your children. It is a choice and we have to take ourselves seriously. With a happy mom comes a happy family.
by Prue Henschke | Jan 17, 2019 | Two minutes with interview series
When was the last time you had “me-time” and how did you spend that time?
Me-time as a single mum was really tricky in the beginning, as my son had just turned 2 and my daughter 3 months, so without the physical support there it was really challenging. So, when my daughter was napping I would go lie down outside with my son and stare up into the clouds and the tree and we would be still and hold hands and talk about the wind, the leaves, count the trees, look at the birds and be in one another presence and be still. They did alternative sleeping so the time alone for me was rare so I made me time incorporated into our daily activity.
Today though, my son just turned 4 and my daughter 2 and they go to daycare three times a week and I have total me-time where I do an hour cardio and boxing in the morning, I get a massage once a month and because they sleep through most nights I can stay up a bit later and watch a movie or read a book, physically alone, which is so under-rated! It’s a journey sometimes and I think it’s a matter of doing the best you can and that moment in time.
What are some of your favourite ways to practice self care?
I love fitness and health and also getting any lingering emotions that are stuck out so I’ve really come to love quick, challenging and sweaty workouts with cardio, weights and boxing. Before my children were born my self-care was dirt bike riding for hours in the mountains and I will get back into that when they are older. I have always been one that finds calm and relaxation from more adventurous ways and I find the meditation and reflection more challenging. I love to have an early bath once a week before picking the kids up from daycare and I read for a while and just have that moment to be with myself, without having to do the full scale meditation. Massage for me is a great stress relief because of the hard workouts I do and the physical demands of two young kids that want me to carry them, wrestle them and piggy back them everywhere!
I also have a mindset practice and personal development routine I do everyday because it’s mind as much as body for me for self-care - it’s been pivotal for me in being able to be OK with self-care.
What advice would you give to mamas struggling to create “me-time”? How do you make time in your schedule for yourself?
For me, the idea that self-care is a bubble bath, scented candles and a glass of wine, is not the reality of what self-care is about. Self-care is a ritual, something that’s easy, and joyful and you create a habit out of. If it is not easy and joyful then it won’t essentially be self-care because it will be more of a “have to” and a stress in ones life.
My advice is to do the small stuff at first, and change one habit at a time. Swap coffee for green tea or read a page of a book a day instead go trying to get through a chapter in a night to “catch up”. Do what you can, with the time, resources and money that you have instead of worrying about what it is your doing and be good with what you can do.
Self-care mindset is really important to the action physically of self-care. I really believe, from doing personal development and as a mindset coach that if you don’t value yourself and don’t have a high self - worth or self-concept it will be challenging to do self-care because you will feel like you don’t deserve it. So, an act of self-care could easily just start with listening to a podcast that is about mindset shifting and personal development once a day and over time through repetition the understanding of yourself and the way you are will happen and this will help to change the awareness with you. This is really how I started. I changed my level of awareness and when this happens you get freedom of choice and this is how a great self-care routine can be made joyful and followed.
