When was the last time you had “me-time” and how did you spend that time?
I don’t get a lot of me-time, per se. My husband recently put our kids into daycare so that I could focus on working from home without the stress of young ones running around, but I find I’m actually more stressed without them here, as I’m constantly worrying about them! But when I do get some time to relax, I usually take a bath. Getting an hour of relaxation so I can catch up on my favorite books, shave my legs and re-energize is for me the best thing. I’ve also recently started going to the gym several days a week. We are lucky to have a daycare there, so I can bring my kids with me and let them be looked after while I get out some of my frustrations on the treadmill.
What are some of your favourite ways to practice self care?
Self care is a difficult thing for me, as I am usually trying to put everyone else first. But since I have a history of severe depression, I know that I have to sometimes say and do things that make me feel selfish. The first thing I will always do is talk about whatever is wrong. It’s especially important for me to discuss any frustrations with my husband, as often keeping things internally is the first step of falling down the rabbit hole of depression. I also need to be aware when something is out of my capability for that moment. Just today I had to ask my husband to take the morning off work and go to our son’s pre-school because I was too stressed and ill to go for my once-a-month volunteer day. I felt awful asking him to do it, but the alternative was too difficult and would have created a lot of issues. The final thing I do to practice self care is to write. Whether it’s in a journal, in an email or on my blog, writing has always been the thing that helps me stay centered.
What advice would you give to mamas struggling to create “me-time”? How do you make time in your schedule for yourself?
As a former flight attendant, I try and remember a valuable safety tip – secure your own air mask before trying to help others with theirs. Me-time is that air mask. If you tried to secure other people’s air masks, you’d likely pass out and be no good to anyone. By taking the time to help yourself first, you are more able to help others around you. It’s not a perfect analogy, but it works well for me. I try and remind myself that I am a good mama – we all are. Our kids are loved and looked after to the best of our abilities every single day. We all need to remember that our kids are happier and better taken care of when mom is healthy, well-rested and fulfilled. If taking 10 minutes out of your day for yourself can help you be a better mother, it’s so worth it. Everyone can take ten minutes. I have single mother friends who sometimes pay neighborhood kids to come and play with their little ones for an hour or two so they can get their me-time in. Do whatever works for you.