When was the last time you had “me-time” and how did you spend that time?
The last time I had “me-time” was a few days ago. I ordered delivery from my favorite restaurant, did an at-home spa day, binge watched my favorite TV shows, then laid out in the sun with my favorite book from Timothy Keller.
Now that my kids are getting older I tend to get a lot more “me-time.” For the first year after my biological son was born (two months premature due to me developing HELLP Syndrome), I really had no “me-time” unless I made it for myself during the day. I wasn’t comfortable leaving him at that point, so I had to figure out how to make my day work for myself and my family. I struggled… big time. Part of it was due to the fact that I had undiagnosed postpartum anxiety, postpartum post traumatic stress disorder, and postpartum depression. Postpartum mental health issues can look vastly different depending on the person.
Since May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, I just want to urge anyone who is a new mom and is feeing “off” to definitely seek out someone who specializes in postpartum mental health. My issues were severe, and even though I knew something wasn’t “right,” my experience was minimized by those who were not educated on the subject, and I felt obligated to “push through” it. I’m telling you… eight years after the birth of my son, I am just now getting the help I needed when he was first born. It is not going to go away on its own for most of us, but it will manifest and evolve in other ways if you don’t address it early.
What are some of your favourite ways to practice self care?
At this point in my life, I love traveling and working on projects I’m passionate about… Also, sensory-related pleasures throughout the day are a must (aromatherapy, bubble baths, rose water spritzes, and even sparkling or flat water flavored with fruit and herbs in a pretty glass. It’s really the little things that can make the day feel special.
For a new mom, I would say make your day work for you, not the other way around. I made this list of postpartum self care ideas that I wish I would have had after I had my son.
http://www.iamnotthebabysitter.com/10-ways-treat-pregnancy/
What advice would you give to mamas struggling to create “me-time”? How do you make time in your schedule for yourself?
1. Stress is normal postpartum, moderate to severe anxiety and depression is not. Make sure you are mentally healthy first, otherwise everything else you do will just be a band-aid on a gaping wound.
2. Make your day work for you. The human ability to adapt is a huge part of our survival instinct. You need to remember a. This time will be gone in a blink of an eye b. You need to create a new-normal for this period. It’s completely normal to mourn your “old life” but I wish someone would have told me how fast this new period goes by; I’m sure I would have appreciated it more had I known how fleeting it is.
3. You don’t need to be away from your baby to have “me time.” A good example is the misinformation about alcohol consumption and breastfeeding. I have good news, you can have alcohol and breastfeed safely. The consensus from Dr. Jay Gordon and other leading IBCLCs is that if you’re sober enough to drive, you are sober enough to breastfeed. Also, pump and dumping is useless so don’t waste your time.
http://www.iamnotthebabysitter.com/can-really-get-arrested-breastfeeding-drinking-alcohol/